Isaiah 43:18 says…”Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” So, I will not dwell on the past except that I must start there for just a moment to help you understand the present.
For seven years I ran from God. I was angry with Him for all the things that had happened back in Texas. I won’t dwell on that dirty laundry except to admit that most of it was my own doing. So, in 2005, I packed my bible away and quit. I quit church, prayer, and God.
In 2007 I had a chance to get away from Texas and all that was bugging me. Without a word, to or from God, I left and moved to Indiana; to be with a woman I hardly knew. I found a good job working in security at the new Honda plant and two years later we married. But the thought kept running through my head; I’m living in hell.
Then came that one spring day in 2012. I was driving to work; going 65 miles an hour along I-74 when the thought suddenly struck me. I punched the steering wheel and said aloud, “God, what am I doing here?” I was actullay praying for the first time in years. I said, “I used to live by faith. Whatever happened to my faith?”
I was actually yelling and I wasn’t really expecting an answer, but I got one; quite literally.
The voice was loud and clear. “If you have faith like a mustard seed, you can move this mountain.”
I swear, it was so loud and clear, I glanced over at the empty passenger seat; then I checked the back seat through the rear-view mirror. I thought someone was in the car. And then it hit me.
“Is that you, Lord? Why would you even bother after the way I’ve been living?”
“If you confess your sins, I am faithful and I will forgive you and cleanse you of all your sins.”
By that time I had left the highway onto the exit ramp and I was crying so hard I couldn’t see the road ahead so I pulled off right there on the exit ramp and started confessing and praising God.
I don’t remember much about the rest of that night but I know what I did the next morning. There were four boxes stacked out in the barn that I had never bothered to open when I moved from Texas. All four boxes contained books including my bible.
They had sat out there in the cold of winter and the heat of summer for five years; and they were all in bad shape. I was able to save the bible, which I had bought in 1990, by binding it with duct tape. It’s still with me today, seven years later.
I began a systematic reading that morning back in the spring of 2012 that I still maintain today (2/18/2020). Every morning; first thing I do is fix a cup of tea and open my bible. Prayer and reading the Word begins and ends my day.
Now that I am fully retired and living in solitude (more about that at another time), I spend hours in a day studying the Word and spending time with my heavenly Father. I am learning much.
One other thing I did back then in 2012; when I got to work that next evening, I asked my good friend, Bob H. to join me for prayer before the beginning of each shift. Every once in a while Tim W. would join us even though he worked a different shift.
Every day that we worked, we began with prayer and that lasted until November of 2013 when I had to leave. Many, many things have happened since then. God has blessed me beyond what I could imagine and now He wants me to write about it.
When I prayed about it, the Lord answered right from His Word. 1 Chronicles 16:8 and Psalm 9:11…”Give praise to the Lord, proclaim His Name; make known among the nations what He has done.”
I have learned a hard lesson (and still learning); you cannot run from God; better to be still and seek Him out. If you learn to follow Him; trust Him and obey….He will bless you. You may need to go through some tough training, as I am still, but it sure beats the running through hell.
To God be the glory.